Comments on: John Lackey’s tough season (and off-season) This and that about baseball stats. Tue, 16 Jul 2013 17:01:55 +0000 hourly 1 By: BSK Fri, 13 May 2011 19:14:58 +0000 Andy-

Can you shoot me an email? I think I got something via email from you, but I'm not sure. I just need to see what your email is but wouldn't ask you to put that or other person info out publicly.

By: BSK Fri, 13 May 2011 18:32:08 +0000 Andy-

Great points. Everyone handles such situations differently. Some prefer to suffer in silence. Some want to put it out there. Others are somewhere in the middle. As you noted, even without making a big deal about it or pubicly acknowledging it, there is a way to demonstrate an unspoken awareness and understanding that stops before turning someone into a charity case.

For me and you, I'm glad my words proved helpful. I wish I could say they were as thoughtful as they were helpful, but sometimes things just break a given way. Glad you seem to be in a better place and continued luck.

As for Lackey, if the worst that someone can say about him is that he's a subpar pitcher but a damn good husband and dad, I'm sure he'll take that. As the kids nowadays say (and I guess I'm one of them), haters gonna hate. People are going to knock Lackey, some of it fair, much of it likely not. Luckily, it's just a game. And for you, Andy, it's just a blog. A great blog. But a blog nonetheless.

By: Andy Fri, 13 May 2011 17:37:24 +0000 BSK, you're absolutely right. I have heard 2 different Boston media members say that they are sidestepping discussions about Lackey's wife because they "dont' want to go there", which I presume means add focus and criticism to Lackey's family situation, which can only make him feel worse.

I can say that in my own situation, I've appreciated when someone has looked past me being late for a meeting or having to take a critical cell phone call (which I would ordinarily not do), but it can be dismaying when you realize you're screwing up in larger ways and someone tries to sweep it under the rug for you. It makes you feel like a charity case or like someone with deep emotional problems who needs to be handled with kid gloves.

Getting back to you and me, BSK, you did me a huge favor in terms of how you handled my outbursts, including the private emails we shared. You basically said--I don't understand why you're behaving this way, and I don't know what you hope to get out of it--and when I stepped back and read your words just as they were, I realized that you were totally right, and that I was behaving bizarrely.

Anyway, thanks for the support from various folks on this thread, and hopefully I've eased some criticism that Lackey may take too.

By: BSK Fri, 13 May 2011 14:49:12 +0000 Last sentence should read "He might very well prefer to be told he sucks than to get a bunch of sympathy that shifts the blame to his wife's health". And I'd add, "Even if it seems unfair to do the former when we know about his condition, I always defer to offering the person what it is that they want and need, rather than what I presume they want and need.

These are just my thoughts. I have never been in this situation and, even if I had, I'm sure each person handles it differently.

By: BSK Fri, 13 May 2011 14:47:18 +0000 I wonder if the lack of coverage of Lackey's family situatoin is deliberate. It would be completely understandable if he wanted to keep such information private, not only to avoid his wife and family having to deal with one of life's cruelest turns publicly, but also to avoid the type of speculation going on here and probably elsewhere. The speculation is natural and not in and of itself "wrong", but I could understand why some folks might prefer to avoid it. Even if his wife's situation was the sole reason Lackey hasn't thrown 5 perfect games this year, I would completely understand if he didn't want people conjecturing about it. Not only does it lead to hellacious press conferences, but it risks putting yet another pressure on his wife. I'm sure the last thing she or he need is thinking, "Not only does she have to deal with this, but she is KILLING the Red Sox playoffs hopes along with it."

Again, I'm not faulting anyone here for anything they've written. I think Andy appropriately offered it as information and perspective. I just wonder if we might all do best by Lackey if we wish his family the best but try to focus baseball conversations around baseball. He might very well be told he sucks than get a bunch of sympathy that shifts the blame to his wife's health.

By: Nash Bruce Fri, 13 May 2011 08:09:14 +0000 after reading the comments, the best that I can do, is echo the second half, of BSK's comment (10) which starts with, "For many people, work is a distraction............."
Very well said.

By: Nash Bruce Fri, 13 May 2011 08:01:27 +0000 before I read the comments(sorry all) but, amen, for, "life is way more important than baseball". As much as I love this game........

By: camisadelgolf Fri, 13 May 2011 07:52:37 +0000 My favorite thing about Lackey is that the Red Sox still owe him $50MM+.

By: Yetijuice Fri, 13 May 2011 06:22:21 +0000 John Lackey was spot on in the one game I saw him pitch this year (4/24/11 Boston Red Sox @ Los Angeles Angels):

Pitcher Decision Record IP H R ER BB K HR ERA BF Pitches
John Lackey, W (2-2) 8 6 0 0 1 6 0 6.35 32 108

I was disappointed Terry Francona did not let Lackey pitch the 9th inning so he could get a complete game shutout. Lifetime Lackey is 39-21 with three shutouts in games I have attended. Lackey is my all-time leader for career wins and losses. Nolan Ryan is my shutouts leader with seven.

John Lackey is well remembered as the Angels winning pitcher in Game 7 of the 2002 World Series. My e-mail headline after that win was "Lackey Turns Giants Into Peons!" I am an optimist that things will improve. It is not always possible to keep off field events out of your thoughts while in a game. There is a telemetry thought process that cannot be turned completely off.

Andy, thank you for all of your posts. They are insightful and a pleasure to read. My cousin died in a helicopter crash one week before his 16th birthday 43 years ago. We were the same age and went to the same high school. I can rationalize other friends and relatives deaths over the years but I cannot forget that one. There are highs and lows in life. Time heals the pain somewhat. I wonder what would have happened in an alternative universe if Chris had not been on that helicopter. That remains an unanswered question.

By: bluejaysstatsgeek Fri, 13 May 2011 00:53:17 +0000 Group hug!

I sincerely hope that whatever it is, Andy, things improve. I wish the same for the Lackey's. And from what I'm seen and heard of him, I bet John McDonald would wish the same for the Lackey's as well. Johnny Mac is a class act.