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The greatest trade in baseball history

Posted by Andy on September 21, 2011

58 Responses to “The greatest trade in baseball history”

  1. I was pretty dissapointed that the M's traded Fister (and Pauley). They were so much fun to watch pitch, but the M's really got some good pieces in return. I think both clubs will definitely see long term gains from this. Ever since Fister was traded, I've started to root for those Tigers. I would love to see Tigers-Rangers battling it out for the AL Pennant.

  2. That was decidedly low-brow, but made me chuckle!

  3. It's as low-brow as it gets, indeed.

  4. Please, no Rusty Kuntz jokes here.

  5. My nominee for starting pitcher with an even more, uhh, awkward surname than Fister or Furbush: Doug McWeeny.

    I'm really glad for Fister. He deserves a little postseason glory after all the unrewarded good pitching that he did for the Mariners.

  6. There's an old joke about Virigl Trucks and Johny Kucks, but this is a family website.

  7. DoubleDiamond Says:

    Maybe it's because I'm female.

    Maybe it's because I didn't get my college education while living in a dorm.

    Maybe it's because I'm over 50.

    But I don't get the brunt of this joke.

  8. Andy, If this post is still on here tomorrow, I will no longer participate in this blog.

  9. Oh God! Leave it to the PC police to show up when somebody interjects crude sophomoric humor!

  10. Seriously. If it ain't your cup of tea, then skip it. If it really makes you not want to participate in all the regular content on the blog, then so be it...

  11. this trade reminds me when jay leno would show wedding headline clippings, like the "harry/wang" wedding, and so on...
    these types of things are meant as harmless chuckles, and i feel very sorry for those offended by this type of occasional juvenile humor.
    end rant.

  12. To appreciate this kind of humor you have to have the mind of a 12 year old. Which fortunately I do, in a jar down in my basement...

  13. Charles,

    We hope you're joking. If not, we are triangulating right now to arrange for an intervention that will suck (pardon the phrase) the moralizing out of your marrow...or vice-versa.

    And let's not forget, Andy, that statistically speaking, one in the Fister is generally much more reliable for the task "at hand" than any number in, around, above, below, or en flagrante as regards the Furbush.

    And the results since the trade seem to "dovetail" with this...

  14. @12. Is that Emo or Steven Wright?

  15. There was a start this year between Furbush and Hochevar. It's funnier if you know how to properly pronounce Hochevar.

    Headline reads:

    Hochevar mows down Furbush

  16. Evil Squirrel Says:

    If this post isn't still here tomorrow, I will no longer participate in this blog.....

  17. I'm cancelling my subscription to Sports Illustrated because of the swimsuit issue and Time because Hitler was once their Man of the Year.

  18. It's one thing to try to force humor like this into a conversation from out of nowhere. It's another thing completely to take advantage of a setup like this on the rare occasion that it comes along legitimately. Kudos for picking up on it.

  19. Appropriate Comments and Submissions; No Spamming.
    We ask you to not use vulgarity, profanity or insults in your comments. You are free to disagree (even vehemently) with what we have to say, but we ask that you do so in a respectful manner. Comments will not be deleted for disagreeing with us. They may be removed for the above reasons or if the comment is hurtful, spiteful, libelous, slanderous or fails to contribute to the ongoing conversation on the Site. With respect to email address submitted to the Site, including through sponsorships or advertisements, you agree not to harvest or compile these email addresses for purposes of spamming or engaging in other illicit commercial behavior.

  20. Over at lookoutlanding.com, every possible comment was made within seconds of this trade, and the whole thing was declared a dead meme minutes later. Of course Fister came up through the Mariners system, so all the "I hardly know her!" jokes got taken out and shot years earlier.

    I have to say though, I always find it strange how outraged some people can be by mere words -- particularly when you consider all the awful actions going on all the time in the world that have real consequences for real people. Personally, I can only support a finite amount of outrage and I like to reserve it for things that really matter.

  21. @19, nothing vulgar was said. Implied, at most. Interpret it however you wish. And if you can't take a laugh, I don't know how you get through the average day.

  22. @20

    Thank you for a respectful response.
    I am not outraged.
    I feel this subject is not appropriate for this baseball blog. I'm sorry it's so trivial a matter and I should never have spoken out.

  23. @19

    Vulgarity is an opinion. So is humor.

  24. I think in the context you raised it above, vulgarity refers specifically to words considered vulgar. I agree with you that the concept joked about here is vulgar, though. It certainly was not my intent to offend; you are certainly entitled to stop reading this blog, provided that you can pull yourself away from this very thread.

  25. Inappropriate and creepy.

  26. Sorry, I'm an intelligent 27-year-old, but (setting aside the question of whether or not this posting is appropriate for BR.com) I don't perceive the implied hilarious pun. I'm aware of the act that "Fister" could refer to, but what's odd about "Furbush"? I mean, "bush" is occasionally used as a slang term for body hair, but is used much more commonly by its non-slang definition (plants, shrubbery, etc.) And, what's funny about "Furbush"?

    I honestly don't get it, this seems pretty weak/pointless as "naughty" humor.

  27. Don Mattingly's Disembodied Moustache Says:

    Wow! I remember when Carson would do the OREL (Hershiser) (Steve) SAX jokes back in the 80's. Then, in college I met a girl with the name of Ellen D*ckhut (seriously).

    @26 I'm an intelligent 35-year-old and I find it rather difficult to fathom that another intelligent individual like yourself, does not see the jocularity of this thread...and to break down the roots of the words...really?! This feels reminiscent of the poker game in "40-Year-Old Virgin." Let me guess, you think that a woman's boobles feel like a bag of sand, right??

    On another note...I think that it is refreshing to have a little outside the "box" fun at B-R...as opposed to reading & commenting on articles about baseball players who have had 2 triples in a game, on their birthday, in the Central Time Zone, whose name is Jim & who can play the theme song to the "Love Boat" on a banjo.

  28. Man, it was awesome when Sean added that banjo option to the Play Index. It really opened up what we were able to research.

  29. Don Mattingly's Disembodied Moustache Says:

    Some guys want an ostentatious car, nice house or a beautiful woman...I say no, Andy! Now, we have the banjo option...I can die a happy man :)

  30. Andy:

    "I think in the context you raised it above, vulgarity refers specifically to words considered vulgar. I agree with you that the concept joked about here is vulgar, though. It certainly was not my intent to offend".

    You should have stopped there. Sounded very sincere.

    Keep your topic posted. I don't care anymore.
    The "objectionable" responses and personal attacks were going out of control until I posted 19. Now they're back again. Joe was right at 20.

    You know what you're missing here? The people who frequently post multiple times on topics like baseball players who have had 2 triples in a game.

    I'm done with this topic and will reply no further. If you feel the need to respond, so be it, enjoy.

  31. Re @29, R U sure Sean is not just stringing us along?

  32. @ Charles, take it from one who has made the same mistake: you are being way too sensitive. I don't see any personal attacks on this post against anybody. I see that you posted an opinion and numerous others posted their opinions in opposition to yours. I suspect you're having a strong overreaction because the general population is not backing you up.

    And my comments in 24 were entirely sincere, start to finish. I didn't mean to offend and you are of course entitled to walk away, except for the fact that if you were so offended in the first place, why do you keep checking back on this thread? You're offended AND feel personally attacked, and yet you keep coming back. And even though you said you're done in #30, I strongly suspect you'll be back to read my comment here.

  33. Don Mattingly's Disembodied Moustache Says:

    Nice one @31! I just want to say one more thing about the banjo:

    Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a South American Macaw?
    A: One is loud, obnoxious and noisy; the other is a bird.

    And from the bottom of my heart (strings)...can everyone please give Charles a virtual hug...I think he needs one!

  34. @27,28,29 Well, I expected to see "banjo hitter" in The Dickson Baseball Dictionary, but "ukulele hitter" surprised me. No guitar men. If I find any other members of the band I'll come back and tell you.

  35. Fister? I didn't even know her.

  36. I think it's really interesting how many comments on this thread come from non-regular posters--clearly this post appeals to a slightly different crowd from usual. :)

  37. I was waiting for the Lou Brock or Nolan Ryan trades to come up and then I read it a second time and it cracked me up,,,, If Furbush was
    traded do the Yanks ... would a trim be required? Was'nt the groundskeeper included? Gotta admit the Rusty Kuntz reference came
    immediately to line....
    This was not vulgar or obscene.. it was clever in a sophomoric innuendo way.... get over it !!!!

  38. All I can say is..keep it up Andy!!! If a person can't see the humor in this, their parents didn't raise them right!

  39. Jacob, Furbush is not a perfect excuse for a harmless pun, since it is redundant, but it is close enough. Not questioning your intelligence, but it seems from your break down that you do not realize that the Bush part refers to the gush around...lady parts. So it is quite adequate as a protagonist with fister!

    Yes, when only an implied pun, a silly diversion, & meant with no malice but mild bawdy humor-I do not think it is useful to object or censor this irreverent fun.

    Now I will not tolerate using the esteemed Mr. Glasscock paired with any rough semantic semblance of feminine/receptive agent surnames! or, er, Hernames.

    Unless they are very funny.

  40. Oh Jeez, I honesty meant to type Bush, not gush. No really!

  41. lol,3 your so hot go out with me baby.

  42. lol ill ga\ive you all my money if you go out am so desperate.

  43. @4, I just had to check whether Rusty Kuntz and Pete LaCock were ever teammates. (They weren't, dangit.)

  44. I was in the bleachers for the yankee game tonight and this would not have cracked the top 10 for "most crude things heard" list

  45. IF one saw something vulgar in that post - it's the reader's fault. My 6 year old son saw the post as a synapsis of an important trade for the Tigers' pennant run - I saw it a little differently.

  46. LMAOOOOOOOOOOO
    if folks are actually serious about bailing on this site, because somebody posted something that literally made me LOL, then you know what? I'll pick up the slack. I'll force myself to carve out the time to start seriously studying sabermetrics in depth. I'll start posting a hell of a lot more analytical (sorry, did that[!] word upset anyone) comments, rather than casual comments about how bad the Twins have sucked this year, and so on. I'll stay up, so that even though I'm hours behind, I'll catch the new posts as they come out, so that I can be the first one to comment, rather than the last.

    Oh, I'm bluffing, probably. (The mind is willing, but only so many hours in the day.) But, there's no way in hell that people should be ripping this site, for posting something that was in no way mean-spirited. This site is one of the best things the Internet offers. It has been very good for me, to me. The work that so many put into this site, from posters, to those who visit, and comment...this is a labor of love, not a labor of hatred, by haters. Were it that this thread was meant to attack, or cause harm, I'd feel differently, maybe. But it wasn't. We're all adults. Get over it already.

    AMEN, EVIL SQUIRREL (16)!!!

  47. (btw, John Autin, recently, in one of your game-day wrap-ups, you did give some extended analysis regarding MN's 2011 season, as it were- excellent piece. Many thanks.)

  48. Charlie Furbush Says:

    Hey, the trade worked out for Fister, but what about me?

    *Charles R. Furbush*

  49. @48 -- Does the "R" stand for "Re"?

  50. As one with a foot in both camps, it saddens me to report that Charlie Furbush has never allowed 2 triples in a game.

    In fact, he's allowed just 1 triple at all. Let's see what I can squeeze from that....
    http://www.baseball-reference.com/boxes/TBA/TBA201108200.shtml

    OK, Furbush allowed a pseudo-cycle in the 1st inning of that game:
    Triple, home run, single, double(-play).

    He did complete the true cycle with a double in the 3rd. In fact, in just 3 innings, Furbush checked off most of the things that can go in a pitcher's game line: besides the cycle and the GDP, there was a walk, a HBP, a SB, a sac fly ... and I'm just sure that passed ball charged to Olivo should have been a wild pitch.

  51. Charlie Furbush Says:

    @49 -- Good one! Quite the wordsmith.

  52. Wondering how so many non-regulars are getting involved? You've gone viral! A friend of a friend told me about this thread, and I have to say the tenor of the comments is at least as entertaining as the subject. Nice how some were able to weave in some names from the past (were Kuntz and LaCock ever teammates? Good one. And if they had been, would they by chance have been playing for the Youngstown Puddlers or the Waterbury Rough Riders?).

  53. Fister in hand is better than two in the Furbush.

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